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Well Jesus Christ, I suppose I should say Hi to you guys, huh? What a dick!
Sorry for not posting here for so long...the uh...proxy server we have set up here blocked noncompliance.com...yeah, that's it! Seriously, though, thanks for putting the VVV post on here, just so you guys know a little about what is going on with me.
I totally forgot how much I enjoy reading the rants and arguments and flames and conversations and rants and racism and true American Midwestern intelligence that sprouts from some of the posts that you guys put together...and the rants. I will (try) to check these forums more often, and even add a reply or two, but you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little out of the loop.
We do have one AFN Sports channel, but we're about 7 hours ahead of you (3am on Sunday right now here, 6pm Saturday there) so all the shit that they put on the channel is pretty weak. As luck may have it, the Vikings opener is being broadcast on AFN tomorrow at 8pm, so I might be able to catch a little bit of the Packers getting SPANKED. Hey, I can dream, right?
Okay, what didn't I say in the VvV post? Ah, what type of shit do you guys REALLY want to know? Yes, they're dirty. Yes, they're poor. Yes, they're incredibly horrifying drivers. Yes, they STINK. Yes, they dig through our trash every single day hoping to find something that will add to the $3,000 a YEAR that they make. Yes, I know a little Egyptian dialect Arabic, and the second I say one phrase to them they spit out about 300 sentences as fast as they can and then get frustrated when I give them the blank stare.
BUT, they're very happy that we're here. Of course they are, if we weren't here, they wouldn't be making $3,000 a year, they'd be making $500 a year. The MFO (Multinational Force & Observers) www.mfo.org has made these Egyptians that work on our post "rich". So they love us. But it's still incredible to see some of the shit the Egyptians who AREN'T working on our post pull. Examples? Oh, okay:
1. Driving. The Egyptians don't understand the concept of an alternator, and they believe that if they leave their lights on at night, their battery will die...as they're driving. They drive down the middle of the road as well. No one really knows why they do this. They honk CONSTANTLY. It's actually a custom over here that when you're passing a vehicle on the left, in a 4 lane highway, you honk the horn twice to (and this is straight out of the document that we were taught) "...let the driver know you are passing him." A wonderful treat is the fact that at night, and remember, they drive down the middle of the road with no lights on, they flash their high-beams at you about 50 feet away to show you that you're there. So not only to you have to try and stay on the shitty falling apart road, you're now blind, trying to avoid an idiot driving down the middle of the road with his lights off. But he will honk his horn twice at you as he passes...
2. Food. Everyone here has gotten sick...except for me (knock on wood). The meat that's purchased for our chow halls is bought on open air markets. Needless to say, I haven't had a good slice of beef since I've been here. The first night we got here we discovered that you can order food from an on-post bar and have it delivered to you. I had just stepped off a plane from Germany, unpacked, and I was starving. I ordered a double cheesburger and some fries. When it showed up, I took a bite and was told by they guys who'd been in-country for a while that I was eating a CAMEL burger. Of course they were kidding, but the burger tasted AWFUL. It may have been some FORM of beef...but it wasn't what I was expecting. To compensate for this lack of good food, there is a McDonalds off post, a KFC off post, and a Pizza Hut off post. The small town of Na'ama Bay is a tourist haven for Italians, Germans and Russians, so there are all sorts of resorts and the like. The funniest thing is this: McDonalds DELIVERS to our post, KFC DELIVERS to our post...Pizza Hut, does not.
3. Weather. I haven't seen a cloud in 2 months. Obviously it hasn't rained, and the temperature has not gotten below 85 degrees yet...even at night. Every single day here is 100+ degrees, and the sky is CLOUDLESS. I'm HOPING for a cloudy day someday. The Red Sea feels like a bathtub when you get in it. This place isn't quite right...
4. Beer. Yes, I have been lucky enough to be deployed on a post where beer is served. We can buy beer on post. The first month we were here we bought Miller Lite, and noticed that we were drinking bottles with the old labels. When did they start using the new labels? 6 months ago? Yeah, that was comforting...but fuck it, it tastes good... The local brews are a little interesting, but they're cheap and they're 8% AC...
5. Shopping. Like I said, Na'ama Bay is a touristy place, and with all the Americans deployed here, the shopkeepers are relentless bastards. They stand outside their shops, and wait for you. Then they say something like, "I love George Bush!" and when you look over, they know you're American, and because you made eye contact, they think you want to barter. Everything, and I mean everything here, you barter for. Taxi drivers will quote you an astounding price for their cab, and you have to argue them down to the price that you paid the same guy, the night before. The good thing is that if you argue three times, they'll usually give up. It's straight out of Austin Powers 2: "30 pounds! No. 20 pounds! No. 15 pounds! No. Okay, 10 pounds." It's hilarious.
That's about all I can think of. Other than the fact that we have a lot of military style things that are even more fucked up than the things that the Egyptians do, but I won't bore you with those.
So there you go. I'm alive. eric_nielson@hotmail.com if you want to email me. Feel free, as that's one of the only things to do here. We do have internet, and we just got it set up in our MP Station, so while I'm working we can check our emails, and I'll be checking the forums, like I said.
Nice pictures of Alaska! Looks like SD was fun. Go Vikes! Go Twins! Go outside and grill a steak for me, right fucking now!
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Good to see a post from you! I get a lot of questions about where you are and when you are coming back. Sounds like you are making the best of your time in bum-fuck Egypt.
Things are pretty much the same here in MN. Everyone still has a job (except Bjergo who is having fun traveling the country on his remaining flight benefits).
I am still trying to put together a couple DVD's of "files" and maybe some video. Let me know if there is anything you aren't getting from the VvV guys. I have a bunch of newer DVD's (season 1 and 2 of 24) Can I Fedex a pak to you or is it better to only send it UPS?
Post some movie reviews if you get a chance - I miss your take on the movies. Also, change your email in your profile - it's still pointed to the Cargill addy. Got any digital photos of Egypt?
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Can you shoot a dune coon for us? I would even take a bagged jew. I am serious, but on a posative note I am glad to hear that you are safe and having a realativly good time. Start to hang the Purple and Gold around base.
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We actually did get to watch the game. It was the only televised noon game so you have to imagine that the MP Station was full of loyal Minnesotans yelling at the TV and getting into arguments over whether Moss really takes plays off or not. Ha!
Thanks, Trany, I'll be sure to shoot something for you.
Actually we don't have any Vikings things up yet. Could you guys do me a favor and send a Vikings banner/flag or something and one of those MN Wild "State Of Hockey" flags? There's a bar in town run by a British guy and he has soccer flags from all over the world covering his bar. Since soccer isn't that big of a deal in MN, we figured we'd give him one of those State Of Hockey flags to represent MN.
Address if you want to send anything:
SPC Eric Nielson South Camp, D Co. TF 1-133 IN (MP) Unit 31530 APO AE 09833
FYI: Air mail takes 11 days, ground takes 30+ since it goes by boat!
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Hey Eric!!!!! Good to hear from you. Glad all is well over there. I picked up the flag today. They don't have the State of Hockey flags right now but I thought this one looked pretty good. Training camp is running right now, I'll see if I can't get some of the boys to autograph it once the season starts. What's your unit's ID and all that so I can mention that when I have this autoed?
If you need some comic relief, I've got some John Valby tunes on my ftp server. Most are from a performance he did on the east coast two days after the Saddam statue came down. I tried to keep 'em small since I imagine your downloading is limited. If you can't download, I'll be sure to send you his CDs with the flag.
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I suppose you don't get much radio over there? I know there is a Satelite system that covers the middle east but it only has a couple stations of American music.
I can record about 80 hours of XM radio and fit it onto a 4.7gig DVD. Let me know if you would use something like that - whatever music type you want.
Posts: 5484 | From: St. Paul, Mn | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by ProfBooty: I'll see if I can't get some of the boys to autograph it once the season starts. What's your unit's ID and all that so I can mention that when I have this autoed?
Wow, Steve, that would be amazing to get some of the guys to autograph it. Thanks!
Actually, we're the 34th MP Co out of Rosemount, but if you send a full size MN Wild flag over here, with autographs on it of Wild players, I'll be DAMNED if I'm giving it to a bar...that will go up in my living room when I get home! I'll give the bar a Wild T-Shirt or hat or something!
Anyways, thanks again, and yeah, some comic relief could come in handy. Send it on over!
Klaus, we have two stations on the radio AFN and AFN Sports. Luckily the Vikings game will be broadcast tonight! I'll be awake because we're on night shift and the game is being played at 3:30 AM.
If you could, just send over some cool new MP3's on the DVD-Rom you're sending over. Rock, Alt-Rock, Techno, whatever, I'll listen to it.
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