Noncompliance: hey there mr. engineer...

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Posted by Hauserdaddy (Member # 50) on :

THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with his colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

BONUS QUESTION
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

However, one student wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that, "In order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added." This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "that it would be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you ," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the only "A" given.

Posted by Cremator (Member # 8) on :

It's bad enough that I get this shit in my email, but now, Hauseridiot is POSTING SPAM. Jesus Christ, get a fucking clue.

Posted by Mikey (Member # 42) on :

Why can't you just bend over and pick yourself up?

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

chad,

do you know the drag coefficant of your
sami?

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

I think it was similar to a volkswagon bus...

Posted by Mikey (Member # 42) on :

I know it, it's 4.

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

4?

Posted by Cremator (Member # 8) on :

Three.
Three shall be the number.

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

how much resistance to rolling does it have?

Posted by . (Member # 20) on :

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

chad,

do you know your power to weight ratio??

if you are rolling down a hill at 45 mph,
how much fuel are you using???

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

chad,

would the softness and malability of a copper
" bb ", work to fill the gaps in my ring and
pinion?? i was going to add a 200 count
package to the rear diff/axel, along with
new gear oil, hoping this might cure the
" noise " that seems to be originating in the
rear of the vehicle. do you have any thoughts
on this??

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

if your travling at 45mph how many cfm of air
is your truck using in 1000 kilometers?

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

I...ummmm.....ahhhhhh......I think its....4...

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

I would try titanium shavings in your diff or possibly adamantium. This way the ring gear after being reinforced with the shavings would last longer than with copper.

It would be like your own little titanium plated differential.

You could also try platunum. But make sure to install a chrome diff cover after using this. Ther Chrome shell has many advantages.....

Posted by . (Member # 20) on :

I prefer red-hot magma.

Posted by Klaus (Member # 66) on :

Due to popular demand I will be re-activating the "Ask Martin" forum......

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

Maybe you shouldn't

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

could you please explain how a divergent
duct effects air flow, and pressure?

isnt that what you went to school for??

Posted by cajun on :

Hee Hee Hee! It's 1:17 AM and the Unemployed Engineer can't sleep! Ooh, questions that test Engineer's knowledge, eh?

Hrmm.

Copper BB's in Differential to reduce noise:

Eh, no. Won't work. Try bananas, including the peel. Thickens the gear oil enough to reduce the noise. (Trick from mechanics Down Under...)

45MPH truck, how many cfm of air are you using in 1,000 km:

Depends, are you asking how many cubic feet per minute of air the carb is ingesting at that speed or are you asking how much air in total is ingested for that 1,000 km? (An African or European Swallow?)

IIRC, we're talking about a Suzuki Samurai. 1600cc engine. Assume 31" tires, 4.11 gears, 1.23:1 high range transfer, 4th gear (1:1).
45mph=72.42kmh=1.21kmm=1220mm.
31"tall=.79mtall=2.47mcircumference.
=>493.19 tire rpm=2493 engine rpm.
Say engine working at 50%volumetric efficiency (50% throttle...)
=>997200cubic centimeters/min=35.22cfm

So answer one would be 35.22 cfm at 45mph given the above assumptions.

Answer two would be 29,107 cubic feet of air.

Explain how a divergent duct affects air flow and pressure:

Divergent duct = diffuser.

Diffuser would cause a reduction in air velocity and an increase in pressure.

Any other questions? Got my textbooks and references handy...
-Will

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

Stock Suzuki Samurai Engine

1300 cc

You recive partial credit....

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

Also 4th gear in a samurai isn't 1:1 ratio.

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

Also the stock samurai t-fer high range is 1.409:1

Further, there is no 4.11 R&P set offerd for the suzuki 7.5" disserential.

Posted by . (Member # 20) on :

I did the math. Then answer is ZERO. A sami can't go 72kph, with any gears or any engine. Never mind doing it for 621 miles. It would collapse into a quantum singularity.

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

He's right at least for a tired stock motor anyway....

Posted by cajun on :

Well, my formulas are correct, at least. Plug in your constants (including your value for VE) and see what you get.
-Will

Posted by ProfBooty (Member # 21) on :

What's Brake Specific Mean Power?

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

If your talking about a vehicle it is the average power at the wheels. So it is the power produced by the engine minus the losses it experiences interanlly of the engine and throughout the drivetrain.

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

what is

dimethal-tricebestos?

Posted by Jomama (Member # 56) on :

Quote: "losses it experiences interanlly"???

INTERANLLY, I think you meant to say
inter-anal-ly,,,,

man your just spending too much time with your truck.....

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

here we go again......

j/k

i just type really fast and simtomes it getts a bet garblead

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

HEY GOD DAMN IT!!! I ASKED A FUCKING QUESTION!!!!

WHAT IS DIMETHAL-TRICEBESTOS?????

ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!

Posted by . (Member # 20) on :

It's used in the production of Dilithium Crystals, duuuhhh!!

Posted by ProfBooty (Member # 21) on :

CONNECT THE GODDAMM DOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by ProfBooty (Member # 21) on :

BTW - thanks, Chad. There are a few smartasses on the TDI forum that love to throw out terms like that to sound smarter than they actually are. Self-proclamined "internet experts", probably live in their parents' basement. Grrrr!

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

GREAT!

MORE CONDICENDING CLARVOANCE BULL-SHIT!

I WAS JUST ASKING A QUESTION!!

someday i will be as cool as you guys,
just hold your breath, and wait and see!!!

and i have not moved home again... not yet.
but i do live in the basement of the sup, and
she acts like " mother superior ".....
sometimes.

[This message has been edited by cramer (edited 10-09-2001).]

Posted by ProfBooty (Member # 21) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jomama:
Quote: "losses it experiences interanlly"???
INTERANLLY, I think you meant to say
inter-anal-ly,,,,

I know, let's have a spelling bee.....

[This message has been edited by Klaus (edited 10-10-2001).]

Posted by bich (Member # 35) on :

Hey Chad, how far would your spamari go up a 1% grade hill with a 3mph cross wind with a 1/2 gallon of gas left in the tank and a flaming rag for a gas cap?

Posted by bich (Member # 35) on :

I'm sorry make that a full tank of gas. It will make a better effect.

Posted by RockLobster (Member # 45) on :

It always seems to be the ford owners that have all kinds of pent up frustration for thoes that drive other vehicles. Maybe if you guys got a vehicle that didnt dissapoint so often you would lead much happier lives.

hmmmmmmmm?

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

so martin,

if you and your girlfriend are traveling
north at 40mph in your sammi, and your
going into a headwind of 40, are you really moving, or are you stationary? and if you are going " forward ", why does she think your going backwards? oh, and for extra credit, how much fuel would be needed to
complete a 30 mile , one way trip to a
remote location, oh, and you have 100#'s of
" dirt moving " equipment in your sammi?
ie, spade, sand shovel, pick-axe, sledgehammer, etc,etc,etc.

would your mileage be better on the way back?

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

ok ok.. that must have been to hard.

how much does a gallon of mercury weigh, and how much space on the floor would it cover, if left to spread out freely?

Posted by Cramer (Member # 5) on :

was the last question too hard for you????

i was trying to make them easier for you...