Military aircraft were patrolling over the Twin Cites in the early evening of October 7, 2001.
Realize that the enemy is already within our borders. They are most likely in every major city in the US. Load your weapons and be armed somehow at all times. This is no shit! Consider any public areas possible targets. Stay alert and pay attention.
I’m not trying to be some fear monger; this is reality people! Good Luck to us all.
Whoops, sorry. I got a bit carried away there, but it is about time. Something i heard on CNN though all of this that made sense was from a reporter in afganistan with the northern alliance. He said the northern allience has been dissipointed by the long wait for the retaliation because the taliban have moved most of their supplies and personel into the mountains anticipating this attack (since they knew Osama was guilty of having planned it). However, im sure we still did some signifigant damage to them.
Even so, the wait was needed. We had to get international support for this attack, and gather enough intelligence to know what and where to attack in order to minimize civilian casualties. Otherwise, the taliban would make us look like the very same terrorists that we claim to hunt by showing pictures of dead children and shit. Oh well, fuck it. They had their time to comply with our demands, and move civilians out of harms way. Anyone who is left can choke on our big fat ass dicks that we launch at them!
They can run to the hills all they want, but there is no escape. I say we form a classic pincer movement. Bomb the shit out of their artilery on the borders, then have our troops come in from the south through the pakistan boarder, UK from the northwest and the northern alliance from the northeast with support from russia, france, and germany. Pinch them into the mountains, run them down a fuckin cave, roll a nuke into it, push the button and run like hell!
Who_WhaT® (sumLame@Isp.com)
Wrote:
"I belched:
ok , maybe that won't happen...or work , either way we lose . So lets have some fun. Being
christian has its flaws.To "turn the other cheek" is too advanced a concept for this situation.
An "eye for an eye" falls short. We should for every US citizen killed , take ten in return. Its a
sad sick thing to do...I know, but if it stops this kind of chicken shit attacks on innocent lives,
it would be worth it. Why is it you people live in a police state, because like children , you have
to be supervised cause you cant function or be trusted. Does religion cloud your ability to think.
Does it give you hope, or faith, enlightenment or self confidence, to be a better person...if not
then find one that does. You've been fighting with each other long before there was a USA.
Ever stop to think why? Cause you're all so much alike ,you cant stand each other. I think
that's normal. What separates us from animals or in this case you is compassion and tolerance.
You hate the US. & capitalism ,our government , freedom of speech & religion? I would think
spending more time on being productive instead of hating America , or the jews or whatever
your personal malfunction is. Making little pipe bombs which you can shove up your asses is
unproductive. See you bomb them, then they bomb you. Maybe our government is wrong
taking sides with isreal side and selling them weopons or any other country for that matter.
We know that. They at least showed some control when asked not to retaliate when Saddams
scud missles were launched at them. We dont hate you (well we do now anyway) ,hate is an emotion
telling you something about yourself , NOTabout others. Its easy to take it out on others, instead
of accepting that it's your emotion, NOT theirs. So deal with it.
As a country and its people evolve its technology or weopons , or large population, our government
will probably want to deal with you. Therefore having a way to voice your grievances or ask for
help. " The jews are pickin on us again" Bad Jews! go in the corner till your ready to apologize to
the Arabs . "And thier money hungy also" ...ya ya we know. You also can go stand in the corner too
cause frankly you too are starting to piss us off. Both of you will lose your toys till you show
that your more responsible ,no more shooting at each other,till your ready to get along.
Try soccer , cause its healthy ,its competetive and you both suck!
Intelligent peolpe understant intelligence, Not stupidity or threats. I'm an AMERICAN, my dad was
from jordan so that makes me half palestinian, even tho i'm white my hair is straight and brown
thanks to my german mom.
So i guess i can talk about arabs. YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT.YOU SICK MOTHERFUCKERS.
I WANNA SEE YOU DANCIN IN THE STREETS WHEN THE BOMBS ARE FALLING ON YOUR
RETARDED HEADS.. I SUGGEST KILLING YOURSELVES. YOU ENJOY SEEING PEOPLE DIE?
WE DONT NUKE FUCKHEADS LIKE YOU UNLESS YOU HAVE AND USE THEM AGAINST US.
IT WOULD BE WRONG, UNFAIR,CRUEL AND NOT VERY SPORTING OF US, THERFORE, IN
ALL FAIRNESS, I THINK YOUR ENTIRE REGION SHOULD BE NUKED AS AN EXAMPLE AND FOR
THE GOOD OF HUMANITY. FOR ALL THOSE THAT DONT DESERVE THIS...CAN THANK
THOSE THAT ARE RESPONSIBLE. REST ASSURED THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS MOST OF
US HERE WONT BE SINGING IN THE STREETS LAUGHING & CAUSE THIS AINT FUNNY.
I THANK GOD I DONT LOOK LIKE YOU .YOU PIECES OF SHIT. I STAND UP FOR WHATS RIGHT
AND WILL ALWAYS BACK MY COUNTRY.
NOW THIS COUNTRY HATES ARABS, ALL KINDS, YOUR WHOLE MIDDLE EAST IS SO FUCKED
UP.YOU DONT KNOW WHO'S YOUR ENEMY AND WHO'S YOUR FRIEND.
YOU FUCKEN SAND NIGGERS ARE MY EMEMY. GOD HELP US ALL.
GOD BLESS AMERICA"
I was laughing my ass off by the time I hit the end.
------------------
Luke Martin
[This message has been edited by Ender (edited 10-08-2001).]
perhaps it has something to do with the letter
of intent we sent to the un today about our
objectives during this " war "...
hopefully it will be about hitting
other countries that have something to do with al-quida and bin-loser. im not at all
satisfied with the shitty " video-phone-night-vision-shit", we need to bomb the hell out of a town with good video up-link,
so we can see the distruction.
[This message has been edited by ProfBooty (edited 10-09-2001).]
that country with-out substantial u.s. casulties, it will either be a mirical, or all a great big hoax. and since i really dontyes joe,
that would read " the fix was in " !!!!!
Its HERO not HERROW. If you are going to protest in support of Osama Bin Laden or the Taliban, in English. Try spelling it right. Drop a few dictionarys on these fools.
Bert is evil - from an actual poster that protesters are using.
Bert and Adolf. HMM Bert and the final solution.
The JFK conection.
Bert and Michael Jackson. A little Masterbatory sock puppet?
Mississippi burning, Bert is pure EVIL
Part of the defense team.
Bert has an extensive criminal record and is considered extreamly dangerous.
For more information please go tho the website.bertisevil.com
[This message has been edited by Trany (edited 10-11-2001).]
This is wrong on so many levels.
Now I have officaly wrecked the American Icon(s) of Sesame Street
someone in the know explain to me why i should have any sympathy for any of these
arab fucks???? why can a canadian and his
wife be shot on the streets of fucking kuwati??? we gave you your country back, and
this is how you show thanks???? a car of americans in saudi get molotoved and thats
to be " expected " but in the good ole U.S.A., if you say anything precieved to be
mean, you are a hate mongering racist!!!!
you dont do anything but run your mouth off,
and you are the anti-christ. tell me why
they can do things like that???? is there
ignorance just blaring through?? i want to start rounding these fucks up NOW!!!!!
WALL THE PLACE UP!!! NO MORE IMPORTS!!!
STOP IMPORTING AND CODDLING THESE FUCKS!!!!
STOP DROPPING FOOD TO THE " INOCENTS " IN
OTHER COUNTRIES!!!! THEY HATE US!!!!!
STOP SUPPORTING THESE FUCKING COMPANIES THAT
WANT TO FEED THE WORLD!!!!! THIS IS WHAT WE
GET!!!!! FUCKED IN THE END!!!!!
KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL
KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL
by the way,
we DID NOT, at any time during the vietnam
war, fight it like korea, or any other war
before it. we did not hold " lines ". we had
" areas ", that we launched patrols from,
we were not lined up, shoulder to shoulder
marching them back to china, as we did after
the inchon landings in korea, only to be over-run by one-million fucking chineese slant-eyed-cock-suckers later that winter.
i hope that we are not going to have to go
from cave to cave to " smoke the fuckers out"
that will be very, very expensive. this whole thing seems more and more fucked up
day by day. when has anyone ever seen a coast-guard runabout with a .50 cal and two
m60s on each side, powerd by two outboard
V-6s???? pretty fucking cool, but we need this???? i dont think that the u.s. citizen
is the problem. show your force to the ass-hole rag-head fucks who ALL NEED TO DIE!!!!
bomb the shit out of syria!!! they were mouthing-off yesterday about being accused of
providing support to other groups. ITS A FUCKING FACT!!! when we are done with those
jerk-offs, blow the shit out of egypt and libya!!! they are both a bunch of rag-head
sympathizing fucks!!!! and kill that fucking
arafat-gay jerk off!!! he said " dont confuse
people fighting oppresion and occupation, with terrorism " WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CALL IT, YASSER????? ROUND 'EM UP AND GUN 'EM DOWN!!!!
ISREAL TO THE RESCUE!!!
I JUST MIGHT TAKE UP JUDISM, SO I CAN MOVE THERE AND KILL PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT!!!
three deep cleansing breaths...
" YEP, IM SURE OF IT, I HATE HIM "
hate is a viable human emotion accept it!!!
" MR. RINGO IS AN EDUCATED MAN, NOW I REALLY
HATE HIM! " 
there has to be another reason why we are over there???
watching fox two nights ago, at 1am they
switch to " sky news " some british excuse
for talking heads, anyhow, they were showing
footage of talibans and the northern guys..
i KNOW i saw some slant-eyed bastards in the
mix!!! man, things could get very, very, messy, very quickly. our side reports that
we have 1,000 rangers in the north and some
" other " troops in the south. the chinkers
were moving THOUSANDS of men to there 75-150 mile long border..... why do you need 15-20 thousand men to defend an area that small, and there are no " bad guys " on your border...and you have no enemy...everyone loves the red-chinker-fuck-sticks!!!
so did shit-bag-bin-ass-boy-gay, get a " free pass " out of and area that was not safe? surely that coward wouldnt stay and run
a gun.
god this is going to suck! 
[This message has been edited by cramer (edited 10-11-2001).]
Which side do you suppose the US fits into? The more I read, the more I realize how little Von Clausewitz would have approved of how we're handling this "war". Not that his ideas are the gospel but they certainly seem pretty down to earth to me.
Here's a complete text of one broadcast: "Attention Taliban! You are condemned. Did you know that? The instant the terrorists you support took over our planes, you sentenced yourselves to death. The Armed Forces of the United States are here to seek justice for our dead. Highly trained soldiers are coming to shut down once and for all Osama bin Laden's ring of terrorism, and the Taliban that supports them and their actions.
"Our forces are armed with state of the art military equipment. What are you using, obsolete and ineffective weaponry? Our helicopters will rain fire down upon your camps before you detect them on your radar. Our bombs are so accurate we can drop them right through your windows. Our infantry is trained for any climate and terrain on earth. United States soldiers fire with superior marksmanship and are armed with superior weapons.
"You have only one choice ... Surrender now and we will give you a second chance. We will let you live. If you surrender no harm will come to you. When you decide to surrender, approach United States forces with your hands in the air. Sling your weapon across your back muzzle towards the ground. Remove your magazine and expel any rounds. Doing this is your only chance of survival."
Need sound for it...
-Will
"Cruise missle knockin' at your door..."
(no sound)
http://www.enochsvision.com/talibansingles.jpg
-Will
In case you missed in over the weekend Hilary Clinton got booed off the stage and Richard Gere gave some peace speech at the benefit concert for New York and the firefighters stood up and booed. Trany you might enjoy replying to some of the idiots on the VH1 discussion talking about the concert.
Every questions was "sir, when exactly are the bombing runs going to take place?"
"Now are you going to bomb Kabul or where?"
"I know you said no details but do you think you will be bombing tonight or tomorrow?"
Seriously like 5 or 6 reporters asked those kind of questions.
I know it's there job to find out shit but I would have loved for one of those Generals to jump off the stage and drop kick one of those fucking reporters...
arnt you a card-carring member of the people for the advancement of the nanny state???
arnt you for just about everyting that is
WRONG in america today???? arnt you the " throw more and more money at it, because it has worked so well in the past " crowd????
arnt you a DEMOCRAT????
forgive me if im wrong, but it seems that ive had a " few " descussions with you on
political view points, and you definately sold the left in those debates...
isnt it YOUR media that is trying to get the
answers for your " best interest " as a " concerned " countyrman???? pay no mind to the FACT that those rag-head-fucks watch our news, probably more than we do!!!!
HOUSERIDIOT-GAY.....what is your deal??
your not cought in the undertow of shit from
your own team are you?? are you tired of making excuses for every leftist/communits
piece of shit that is or was in power???
tired of defending a fraud and his wife that
spent the last eight years destroying this
nation???and now, the people of new york, have decided they NEED a " quality " person
like hillary to represnt them??? what a bunch of shit!!! i hope that you have not just taken a fall and hit your head, and that common sense may be working its way into
your head, but from your previous posts, i wouldnt bet the farm on it!!!
I am in 100% agreement with you on many things. We shouldnt support baby makers, foreigners, or any other people with our welfare system. You should speak english in OUR country. I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. You shouldnt get any special treatment; whether thats money for school (grant), or money for your family. You have no idea what my ideas or beliefs are, nor do you have a clue where my political views are aligned.
You think being a democrat or republican has anything to do with it? I wouldnt say i am exactly either of those. I believe in what i was raised to believe in. I am not a fucking rich/spoiled kid from Eagan. My dad is blue collar AND is a vietnam vet. My grandfather served in Korea. We are maybe more similar than you think with our views.
[This message has been edited by ProfBooty (edited 10-25-2001).]
-Will
Do you know how PISSED my brother is? The poor bastard served for 3 years in one of the toughest units in the military, got out due to the idea that he could finish school, got activated by the Army National Guard to guard the airport for six months and HIS OLD UNIT took over the airport in Afghani! How pissed would you be? Poor bastard.
-Boondock
[This message has been edited by BoondockSaint (edited 10-25-2001).]
tough hop!
oh, and get over it.
[This message has been edited by cramer (edited 10-25-2001).]
im so tired of these self-important-fucks
asking there stupid fucking questions, over, and over, KNOWING god damn well that they will not be answered. what the fuck makes them think that they are somehow entitled to information about the actions going on around the world??? if they could give the exact position of every troop,im sure they would get it right to the fucking taliban!!
you fucks want to know what is going on???
grab your parachute!! we will drop you in!!!
no cameras, no phone, no nothing!!! IF you get out, you can tell all the tales you want,
untill then...STOP WITH THE STUPID FUCKING QUESTIONS!!!!! YOU FUCKING ARROGANT,GERIATRIC
FUCKS!!!!
------------------
Pearl Harbor Death Toll: 2,403 Americans vs 270,000 Japanese.
WTC Death Toll: 6,000 Americans vs ??? -I say kill em all-
------------------
Pearl Harbor Death Toll: 2,403 Americans vs 270,000 Japanese.
WTC Death Toll: 6,000 Americans vs ??? -I say kill em all-
Q: General Pace, speaking of tools, could you talk a little bit about the 15,000-pound Daisy Cutter bomb we were told that was starting to be used late last week, maybe give us some idea what sort of targets and what strategic advantages does that bring?
Pace: There were two of these weapons used in the last -- within the last week. They are 15,000-pound bombs that literally are fit on a pallet on a C-130. They're pushed out the back of the C-130 and float down by parachute. They have a probe that sticks out so when the probe hits the ground, they explode about three feet above the ground, and as you would expect, they make a heck of a bang when they go off, and the intent is to kill people.
quote:
Originally posted by Klaus:
...and the intent is to [b]kill people. [/B]
FINALLY! I love when they say shit like that. The catch is, he'll probably have to apologize for that one.
-Boondock
------------------
Pearl Harbor Death Toll: 2,403 Americans vs 270,000 Japanese.
WTC Death Toll: 6,000 Americans vs ??? -I say kill em all-
‘Friendly fire’ kills
two U.S. soldiers
Afghanistan’s interim leader reportedly among the injured by errant B-52 bomb north of Kandahar
NBC, MSNBC AND NEWS SERVICES
Dec. 5 — Two U.S. special forces soldiers were killed and 20 others were wounded Wednesday when a precision-guided bomb missed its target near Kandahar, the Pentagon said. U.S. sources told NBC News that the bomb hit very near or on the temporary headquarters of Hamid Karzai, an anti-Taliban leader who had just been named to head Afghanistan’s interim government. An unknown number of Afghan opposition forces were killed and others wounded.
---------------------------------------------
Morons. They're saying either:
a) the people on the ground gave them wrong coordinates...hmmmm special forces tend to be pretty good when it comes to 2000 POUND BOMBS FALLING NEAR THEM!
b) the people in the plane punched in the numbers wrong...hmmmm...
c) the bomb malfunctioned...
Which one? Is one missing from this list?
-Boondock
Tale of an American Talib
In an exclusive, a U.S. citizen on the horror at Kala Jangi
By Colin Soloway
NEWSWEEK WEB EXCLUSIVE
Dec. 1 — Abdul Hamid is tall, thin and barefoot in a filthy black tunic. A prisoner of the Northern Alliance, he sits with his elbows bound behind his back with a strip of cloth, his right leg and left foot bandaged for gunshot wounds. Hamid’s face is almost entirely covered in dirt and black soot, but it is quickly apparent that he is not just another beaten and frightened Taliban warrior. Abdul Hamid, age 20, is an American. He is not a naturalized citizen or disaffected Arab-American youth rebelling against Western culture. He is a white, educated-sounding, apparently middle-class American, a convert to Islam who came to Afghanistan six months ago to help the Taliban build a “true Islamic state.”
HAMID IS ONE OF ONLY 86 survivors of a vicious, four-day battle in the Northern Afghan fortress of Kala Jangi. He refused to give more than the scantiest details about his U.S. origins, including his real name. But while waiting to be taken into detention along with over a dozen other wounded men, mostly Arabs, in a large cargo truck, Hamid talked to a NEWSWEEK reporter about why he came to Afghanistan and how he survived the nightmarish battle of Kala Jangi
He said he was originally from the Washington, D.C., area, but indicated he grew up elsewhere in the states. Well spoken, with a mid-Atlantic accent, Hamid said that he converted to Islam at 16 and later went to Pakistan to study the Koran. “In my travels, I came in contact with some of the original teachers of the leaders of the Taliban movement,” he said. “The ideas of the Taliban occupied my mind a lot.” Six months ago, he entered Afghanistan “to help the Islamic government” because “the Taliban are the only government that actually provides Islamic law.”
When asked if he supported the September 11 attacks, he hesitated. “That requires a pretty long and complicated explanation. I haven’t eaten for two or three days, and my mind is not really in shape to give you a coherent answer.” When pressed, he said, “Yes, I supported it.” DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE 
mad mad:
Despite his confused state, Hamid also gave NEWSWEEK what may be the most complete account to date of the prisoners’ uprising on Sunday morning, Nov. 25, and the horrific final three days after the end of the battle. Hamid said he had been fighting with the Taliban during the two-week siege of the city of Konduz, about 100 miles to the east of Mazar e Sharif. Finally, under a negotiated deal, the foreign Taliban forces surrendered to the Northern Alliance forces of Gen. Rashid Dostum. But almost as soon as Hamid and about 500 others were taken to the fortress. “Two of the [Taliban] threw grenades they had hidden in their clothes, and killed a couple of people,” Hamid says.
“After that they put us in the basement and left us over night. Early in the morning, they began taking us out, slowly, one-by-one, into the compound. Our hands were tied, and they were beating and kicking some of us. Some of the Mujahedin [Taliban] were scared, crying. They thought we were all going to be killed.
“I saw two Americans there. They were taking pictures with a digital camera and a video camera. They were there for interrogating us. As soon as the last of us was taken out of the basement, someone either pulled a knife, or threw a grenade at the guards, and got their guns, and started shooting. I don’t really know how it happened. As soon as I heard the shooting and the screaming, I jumped up and ran about one or two meters, and was shot in the leg. It’s not as bad as you would think, but after that I was down in the basement.”
The Americans were CIA agents Mike Spann and another called Dave. Spann was badly beaten, possibly to death, and then shot by the prisoners. Dave and local Red Cross doctors were able to escape with the help of a team of U.S. Special forces. Then, said Hamid, “they hit us with everything they had. The Americans were bombing us. It was horrible. Nearly everyone in the basement was wounded.”
After Tuesday, all resistance above ground stopped. Alliance soldiers poured diesel fuel into the basement and lit it, assuming that any remaining Taliban would be killed by the fire and the fumes. But when workers on Thursday went into the basement of a pink, one story building in the center of the compound to take bodies out, they ran into as many as 100 Taliban, mostly wounded, still alive in the cells. Two of the workers were wounded, and a third was abducted or shot.
The Alliance then spent Thursday afternoon dropping large artillery rockets into the basement and setting them off with fuses. “It was horrible,” said Hamid. “But the rockets were exploding in the hallway of the basement, and we were all hiding in the cells. The stairway was just a pile of rubble, and there were parts of bodies all over.” Still they survived, with no food or water.
Finally, on Friday, Alliance troops flooded the basement with water. “We spent the night in the freezing cold water,” said Hamid “Those who could stand up survived, but there were a lot of wounded who couldn’t stand, and they drowned. Most of the dead down there drowned yesterday. At that point we had one rifle with 15 bullets and one hand grenade.” On Saturday morning they gave up. They came out of the basement, soaking wet and shivering, clambering over the rubble and body parts. Saturday afternoon they sat and lay in the truck, waiting to be transported two hours away to a camp in Sherbagan. It is unclear what will happen to Abdul Hamid, who says he lost his U.S. passport in Konduz. But he may well be headed for a U.S. military tribunal.
--------------------------------------------
Fuck this guy.
-Boondock
To be bombed, set on fire, bombed again, and then flooded and still be standing is pretty impressive. (and, where did they get all that water?)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my underground layer..."
---------------------------------------
The Osama Sweepstakes
When you win, the whole world wins with you!
By Matt Richtel
Posted Friday, December 14, 2001, at 7:21 AM PT
Text of broadcast made by U.S. government to Afghanistan, as provided by Department of Defense:
"Attention people of Afghanistan! Up to $25 million reward is being offered for information leading to the location and capture of Osama Bin Laden or Aiman Al-Zawahiri. These two terrorists of al-Qaida are responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent people around the world."
*OFFICIAL "UP TO $25 MILLION" PROMOTION RULES
Reward will be administered at the discretion of promotion supervisor pursuant to prevailing law of United States of America. Reward will be distributed under terms and conditions set forth herein and are not subject to future amendment, challenge, or arbitration. Supervisor will be referred to in conversation as "sir."
HOW TO ENTER
Informant may apply for the offer by sending a 3-by-5 card with handwritten name, mailing address, phone number, e-mail address (if any), gender, and country of citizenship, to: I Helped Kill the Evildoer, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, DC, 20502-0001. No mechanical reproductions will be accepted. Card must indicate whereabouts of Mr. Bin Laden, including country, region, and cave number. Penmanship counts.
By mailing in card, informant will also be signaling he is registering to receive from Sponsor a free e-mail newsletter about the progress of the war against evil.
Cards originating from Tora Bora region may subject sender to scrutiny and/or air raids.
ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS
Reward is open to legal residents of Afghanistan, Pakistan, and adjacent nations who are 12-years-old or of marrying age, whichever comes first.
Excluded are employees of al-Qaida, its parent company, subsidiaries, fund-raising organizations, Ahmed's House of Anthrax, Honey and Shrapnel Exchange, and Kandahar Rock-n-Bowl, and members of the immediate families and individuals living in the same household as each of the above, or harboring them, or making them tea. For these rules, "immediate" family refers to mother, father, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, any of the Mrs. Bin Ladens, or anyone who knows these people personally, or even through friends. "Household" refers to cave.
California natives from Marin County: The legality of such a promotion is still pending in California courts. Should a court ruling deem the promotion illegal under state law, promotion will be terminated, as will the California native. Recipient may also be eligible for airfare to, and accommodations at, military prison.
REWARD
One (1) reward of up to $25 million will be awarded. Reward value will be at discretion of promotion supervisor. In the event recipient is learned to have been linked to Mr. Bin Laden as a business associate, colleague, or fellow terrorist, the reward also may be "Down to Zero." Amount of cash reward is final, and recipient may not substitute it for equivalent value in prizes, such as virgins or life without possibility of parole.
Reward recipients will be notified by mail or "Prize Patrol." Prize Patrol consists of U.S. Army Special Ranger Forces who will arrive on the doorstep in a ceremonial fashion via helicopter and gunship. If reward recipient is not present, an alternate reward winner will be chosen, but both will be presumed guilty. Acceptance of reward constitutes permission to use recipient's name and likeness in TV commercials, other promotions, and military tribunals.
DISQUALIFICATION
Any individual who tampers with process in any way—including, but not limited to, double dealing, baiting and switching, hiding Mr. Bin Laden in a cave then pointing elsewhere and screaming, "I saw him go that way"—will forfeit right to future potential reward. Anyone who actually knows the whereabouts of Mr. Bin Laden may be disqualified.
ADDITIONAL ITEMS AND CONDITIONS
Reward recipient may be executed.
---------------------------------------------
Who's up for some "big game" hunting?
-Boondock